Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Originality
by Miner7365
Summary: Let's say you missed writing and publishing something for April Fools day, because of a more serious project you were working on. Let's also say you enjoy self-torture, in the form of writing, because why not? This is the natural result of those two things coming together in one, nice, wrapped bundle of hurt. Reader discretion is... advised, I think?


[Warning: edge, satire, and not direct self-deprecatory comments incoming. You've been trigger warned, as is a requirement nowadays apparently.]

So, with the conclusion of SYOO (Submit your own outline) contest, in my poor attempt to garner favorites from the masses, we got our entry. Going off our only submission, it is something along the lines of… a PMD1 adaptation. No problem. Let us begin, shall we.

We set the scene in fair Verona… wait, crap. This isn't that type of writing. Accidentally typed in the wrong document. Okay, gotta remember to cut that part out in the edits. Don't want the review section to be bombed for being an unmarked cross-over by certain people.

Take two now. Eh-em.

We set the scene in an area near Tiny Woods. The land is clear, and the air is fresh. But in this place, there lay a… wait no, that isn't right either. Gotta love broken English, impeding my comprehension of this submission. But okay, okay. Gotta not insult the person who submitted this _too _much. I'll just… move on, and try to pretend everything is fine with this.

Take three, here we go. Don't lose your sanity yet, me. Gotta keep going.

We set our scene in a dark, misty area. Two spirits talking hand to hand with each other. One is confused, not knowing what to think about the situation. He… cries, apparently, in the corner. Even though spirits can't cry. He wails, and bashes, and… _oh. _No. I'm not writing that. Christ, that's… oh god no.

Ignoring random axe murdering spirits, we can finally set our scene in tiny— what do you mean no, outline! Fine then, broken english outline which mentioned the Riolu for all of a sentence, I'll do it your way. Gotta show some brooding scene of the Riolu partner approaching.

It was a sunny— apparently stormy day. Missed the mention of "rian," presumably rain; weather is bipolar here, apparently, and capable of forcing the writer to misspell the mere mention of it.

Anyway, the rain was heavy, and the Riolu was going through his edge phase, donning the black jacket and everything. Something something screaming curse words at the trees, and oh would you look at that. He finds himself staring, edgy anime glare and all, at a knocked out Charmander with a… blood soaked axe on the ground next to them. Walking up and prodding the reptile with his paw, the Riolu threw a few more curse words. You know, just for good measure to assure the edginess.

This is all in the outline, by the way. Fan-submitted, as I quickly mentioned prior. This is what's you all cursed upon me. I hope you're happy.

Prodding the knocked out Charmander, the Riolu saw one of his eyes open. Then the other. Oh boy, this might turn out to be actually readable—

… I… underestimated this site's capacity to write some of the freakiest shit I've ever seen. Okay then, let's… skip that. And also the first entry into the team base, which is a skull covered burning mosh pit for some reason.

Christ, does this have anything I can write without losing faith in myself? Hmm... what about— no, can't do the talk with the Butterfree, as that's too… something. Don't want to have to describe a grotesque trail of dead Caterpie carcasses in Tiny Wood either, so that's out of the picture too.

… This really isn't giving me all that much to work worth. The introduction to town… is freaking horrifying. Almost looks like it's trying to be a parody of parodies, but I know the author is not good enough to do that. Everything past that seems to be rambling on about death too, so I have to avoid that as well.

Come on, there has to be… oh. The Zapados lead up and battle seems pretty… reasonable, at least in comparison to everything else. At least, it isn't edgy enough to scare away the vast majority of the human population upon first seeing it. Let's… try writing that for a bit.

With the square burning behind them, Team ACT's heads on… spikes, apparently, the two went on their way to go finish off the last one that escaped their murder spree. Jumpuff, who was still stuck in the canyon. Not going to question why Zapdos isn't still in the sky, as that would open the equivalent of a Pandora's box here.

Both friends only in their will to murder, they slowly climbed Mt. Thunder in their goal to murder the last survivor of their rampage. Carcasses, ones which will not be described here, littered the mystery dungeon as they went past. Soon faced with the great bird of lightning itself, they…

… how did I miss that line about the meeting with Zapdos while skimming? Ugh, that make me want to vomit. Should've realized that having the name "ZapdosTsundere2018" probably leads to some things, but still, that's… absolutely revolting.

Not describing things that would net this an M rating, the Riolu in anger uses Charmander's axe… apparently going by the name "Betty," after their murdered wife, to strike Zapdos down. Apparently their was a disagreement over some… things. The apparently luscious Zapdos goes down instantly, leaving them to anime grunt at each other in agreement towards their decision of murder.

Some… I'm not going to hint towards whatever disgusting fantasy they wrote about here, they both walked towards where Shiftry was being held. I swear Jumpuff was mentioned as the one they missed, but oh well, guess it was Shiftry instead. The poor 'mon squirmed, held in place for some unspecified reason, as the Charmander specifically walked up with a grin on his face.

He, for some reason, didn't use his fire abilities and simple axed him. Again. And Again. The axe apparently reached Shiftry's spinal cord, which I… didn't think many grass-types would have? I… jesus christ this outline goes into some real detail about this, describing the gore and blood in vivid detail. ZapdosTsundere2018, you… got some problems with Shiftry or something? I mean, I know he's the evolution of Nuzleaf, which did certain things in PSMD, but… still. Jesus christ.

Well, okay then. Let's just move on from that bad memory of a scene. Shiftry dies, and the plot is completely off balance now. But that's okay, because we got the outline to guide us. Going off the next line… "Hav animu riolu evo. in lucaro forme."

Okay then, he does that. The now Lucario black jacket rips, revealing his… no, just no. Not mentioning the words describing his 'muscles' and corrupting this childhood memory of mine further than I already have by creating this document. Not going to do it.

Gotta keep following the outline, though. Because I hate myself that much. Hahaha…

So, continuing on… apparently the Charmander evolves too. His beloved axe evolves with them, becoming an Axeon, with eyes… sure, why not? Better than some of the other shit I've have to endure here. Oh, apparently his old wife's spirit has possessed it… amalgamated with the spirits of everyone else he killed. That's… somewhat creative.

Huh, the page seemed to bug out and stop displaying text. That's peculiar. Gotta keep this going for a bit longer, though, so let me go see if I can fix it…

…

…

…

Reloading the PM, the author was soon surprised to find out the message ended there. Among all the babble, it had taken up the entire eight thousand character limit, leaving no further information on how the story progressed. Scared he was going to be forced to write the other scenes, he frantically looked through his PM box for another message describing further details. Jumping from PM to PM, bad memory to bad memory, he found nothing from the guy.

Blinking incredulously at the document, his writing bar wavering in and out of existence, he was faced with a dilemma. Disappoint one fan, or himself for the rest of his life. Regretful, the author slowly dragged the document to his trash bin. Sobbing, he wiped the document from his PC. Soon, his favorite count for his main fic would fall by one.

From zero, to zero. An occasion, sad enough to make him run out of the room, in some fit of apparent clinic depression. However, the author did not realize the document had accidentally been uploaded onto the doc manager. Soon to be uploaded, accidentally thinking it was the one-shot he had been working on in his other document.

He'd be in for a treat, once he finished reading the story that mysteriously appeared on his profile page. And a truly delectable one, at that.

* * *

So, that was an experience to write. It was inspired off the massive influx in self-mocking Isekai stories I've recently seen in the updated story section, alongside other things that just left me wanting to enter into the fray. I originally meant for this to be an April Fools joke, but… as you can see, that didn't exactly happen.

If you were disturbed by this… I don't know what to tell you, besides welcome to FFN? Hope you enjoy your stay in the land of crack shippers and disturbed stuff that is a fair bit of this site. Besides that, I… haven't all that much to say. In case you're from Bitter and Cold and worried I'm wasting my time making stuff like this, I've been working on a more serious story as of late. It's currently at 23k words, as I'm setting up a buffer for it before I post anything. You can find more information on this in my profile whenever I finally update the current information section, but I figured this fourth wall breaking satire on bad fan requests would be the best place to announce that, apparently.

Whether that was a good decision… I don't know. Haven't known much for a while, but I especially don't know here. Gotta go think over some of my life choices now, after putting myself through this thing. Hope I'll be back with something more serious than this soon.

Bye, for the time being. I hope no one made the mistake of thinking someone actually sent me a PM with an outline inside of it.

See you all soon, with a more serious fic, hopefully.

…

…

…

Oh, and who narrated that last part, canonically? Well, uh… hang on.

I mean, looking at the PM, according to the outline—


End file.
